Some Country for Old Men

Finally, some corporation has had the good sense to do what the rest of us wished for: It’s making fat people pay for being fat.

Huzzah! It’s not as if the United Airlines policy regarding fliers who “are unable to fit into a single seat in the ticketed cabin” is going to make all of us non-fatties who shoulder the burden of sitting next to – and by extension having to look at and breathe the same air as – these larger people (read: fat) all the time. There will doubtless be the kind employee who can’t bear to be so cruel, or the fat employee who feels some sort of outsized sympathy for his brothers in bulk, but it’s a start. (Sure, Southwest did it already, but they were considerably kinder, it seems.) There has already been the predictable pushback from fatties and friends of fatties: It’s mean. It’s rude. It’s cold-hearted.

To those people, a hale and hearty “Tough shit.” You want to be fat? You pay for two sandwiches. You pay for two sodas. Now pay for two fucking seats.

That’s the trade-off. The American obesity epidemic is so absurd and, let’s face it, gross, that it’s become commonplace for Americans to be fat. Think about the costs to consumers and businesses when the one-quarter of obese Americans want to fly. More fuel. More food. More trips to the ER. Higher health care costs.

None of that really matters. The problem is America. For years, we’ve been told we’re the best, and maybe we were – or more accurately, maybe our grandparents were. We are not. We are the spoiled, told-we’re-the-best, entitled fucking assholes raised by the offspring of the greatest generation. We’ve been given too many free lunches and now we’re finally paying for them.

Don’t believe it? Here’s a comment from one of the unwashed masses who weighed in (pun) on this story about United.

My Wife and I traveled to Florida last year and when we landed the in flight crew pulled us aside and escorted us to the ticket agent where we were told we needed to purchase an additional seat for the return flight or we would not be able to board the plane. Both my wife and I are larger people and I require an extender when I fly. I understand the policy and can understand that the airlines fuel based on weight and need to sell every seat. I think that the policy is fair however with such a large majority of over-weight individuals in our society you’d think that they would adjust for that. I see people whom are not over-weight unable to fit into the seats due to various reasons. Will the airlines charge extra for a person with a disability who can’t fit into one seat? Just because someone is over-weight doesn’t mean that they don’t have a handicap or condition that causes the over-weight. One last thing. The American crew handled the situation with class but I’ve seen several cases where bias and personal opinion enter into how people handle these situations. I’d like to have this policy placed on ticket sales sites so embarrassment and humiliation can be avoided when arriving at the airport.

No. Here’s one last thing: Stop being so fucking fat. Eat less. Close your mouth for once. Work out. (It could be as easy as walking around the block a few times after your gargantuan dinner.)

You want to know why there’s a bias against fat people? BECAUSE YOU CAN CONTROL IT. Stop bitching. Join a support group. Raise your self-esteem. DO SOMETHING. And, certainly, if you’re too big to fit in the seat, pay the goddamn freight.