Ladies and gentlemen, we at SCFOM offer evidence that the United States of America is fucking doomed. Don’t get us wrong. We love the U.S.A. as much as any Commie weblog can, but today we’ve hit an asshole nadir: This guy.
Who is he? No one of consequence, unless you consider that there are thousands of people just like him all over the country. For those of you who didn’t click the link, Joseph Sobel would rather stand next to a highway holding a sign that reads, “College grad looking for employment,” than actually be employed.
Why? Our guess: he suffers from douchebagism, or scumbagism, or some other kind of “ism” (maybe onanism). Sobel is one of those guys who’s waiting for the “perfect” job. For him, that means as a marketing assistant for the Pittsburgh Steelers (strike 1: Steelers fan), or really, any sports team.
See, he’s too good to sell cars. There’s an outfit in Lancaster, Pa., called Lancaster Nissan. Owner James Wenger offered Sobel an interview and Sobel passed. What a dick! People are losing their asses left and right, and Sobel passes! If you think we’re surprised, imagine how Wenger feels:
“For him to not even want to come out and do an interview was really disgusting,” Wenger said. “We’re supposed to feel sorry for you. Sometimes you don’t get what you want and have to make sacrifices.
“So if he can’t have the ideal job, ideal hours, ideal pay, then he’ll just sit around and be a victim?”
Yes. It’s the American dream!
We understand that Wenger is put out, but honestly, he should have seen it coming: 1) Sobel wants to be a marketing assistant (assistant = no ambition); 2) He wears a Van Dyke (which, rumor has it, used to be called “The Asshole Beard”); 3) Look at that tie; 4) HE HOLDS A SIGN AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. In our experience, if that sign doesn’t read, “Disease-free head at the corner of Chapel and State,” it’s probably a message you should forget.
Now that we’ve contributed to the problem and marginally upped this guy’s profile by writing our post, maybe he’ll get a job with the Steelers (fat chance — professional sports teams like a little thing called “hustle,” even in the front office). Or at the very least, potential employers will see this story, and then hire us.
[...] There it is in glorious black and white! Granted, our source is the NY Post, but even they know that court documents = good sourcing, so well done NY Post! You’ve given us concrete evidence that there’s someone out there dumber, lazier and assholier than this guy. [...]