Some Country for Old Men

So while you were all chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool this weekend, your Congress was hard at work, you know, doing all those really important things they do, like, introducing resolutions to declare 2010 “The National Year of the Bible.”

Apparently Rep. Paul Broun of Georgia — the guy who introduced this, the most important bill ever — was shocked to learn that 30 million Americans are pretty much illiterate, and he figured ‘hey, if I assign them one book a year, that’ll solve the problem.’ So being the modern-day LaVar Burton/Ptolemy that he is, Mr. Broun did a quick scan of his bookshelf.

The entire Twilight series? No. That Robert Pattinson is just too damn sexy, and would distract everyone from reading.

Harry Potter? No, that’s been done to death.

My Pet Goat? Too confusing.

So Mr. Broun slipped on his thinking cap, and did what any good Republican would do when faced with a tricky conundrum: he thought, what would Ronald Reagan do?

Well it turns out Reagan actually faced the same frightening dilemma way back in 1983, and he solved it as only Ronald Reagan could, by declaring it “The National Year of the Bible”.

Inspired (as always) by Reagan, and proving, once again that all good Republican ideas died along with the Gipper, Broun pretty much just mimeographed that legislation and offered it anew.

Of course, there are still some pretty fun “whereas” clauses in the bill:

Whereas many of our Presidents have recognized the importance of God and the Bible, including George Washington; Franklin D. Roosevelt; Harry Truman; John F. Kennedy…and especially Abraham Lincoln, whose 200th Birthday Celebration in 2009 highlighted freedom for the slaves.

Hey, that’s a pretty good section, right? Let’s throw in some presidents who appeal to everyone. There’s George Washington for everyone who loves truth and the Delaware River; FDR for socialists; Kennedy for the Massachusetts Liberals; oh, and hey, throw in Lincoln. Everyone loves that guy!

Except there’s one problem with talking up Lincoln’s Bible and God beliefs: they’re not all that clear.

Here’s what John G. Nicolay, the president’s private secretary had to say about his boss:

Mr. Lincoln did not, to my knowledge, in any way change his religious ideas, opinions, or beliefs from the time he left Springfield to the day of his death. I do not know just what they were, never having heard him explain them in detail.

Lincoln’s biographer — and lifelong friend — Colonel Lamon had this to say:

Never in all that time did he let fall from his lips or his pen an expression which remotely implied the slightest faith in Jesus as the son of God and the Savior of men.

Numerous scholars agree that Lincoln was a man of great and deep faith. Some have said he prayed frequently, but the one thing almost all scholars and Lincoln contemporaries agree on is that the president was not the least bit public about his faith. In fact, when he ran for reelection to the Illinois House of Representatives, Lincoln complained about religion intruding into the campaign:

My wife had some relations in the Presbyterian churches, and some in the Episcopal churches; and therefore, wherever it would tell, I was set down as either one or the other, while it was everywhere contended that no Christian ought to vote for me because I belonged to no Church, and was suspected of being a Deist and had talked of fighting a duel.

So, Mr. Broun, before you go using Lincoln’s name as a justification for “National Year of the Bible,” maybe get your facts straight. It’s unseemly and inappropriate for your resolution to call for:

Citizens of all faiths to rediscover and apply the priceless, timeless message of the Holy Scripture which has profoundly influenced and shaped the United States and its great democratic form of Government, as well as its rich spiritual heritage, and which has unified, healed, and strengthened its people for over 200 years.

That’s what churches and other houses or worship are for; it’s not the job of Congress. We get it though. As Congress’ minority party, Republicans feel like it’s important to spend the overwhelming majority of their time reminding everyone that they’re Christians.

You know what? We get it. Give it a rest. Take a hint from Abe Lincoln, and keep it to yourself for a while.