Jesus Christ, Indiana. Why do you INSIST on torturing us? It’s bad enough that you’re home to the “winner” of Men’s Health‘s 2005 “Dumbest City in America.” And you’re home to this guy. Now you just go ahead and spread your stupid all over the place. The INTERWEBS, for God’s sake, can be VIEWED BY ANYONE.
Please see this article in the otherwise lovely Indianapolis Star to understand what we mean: “Indiana cigarettes to be ‘fire safe.’” Innocuous, right? Sure. The rest of the country is already selling fire-safe cigarettes or has passed fire-safe legislation.
Here’s where it gets interesting:
The cigarettes are made from the same blend of tobacco as regular cigarettes,” said Indiana State Fire Marshal Jim Greeson. “The only difference to the consumer is they need to puff it more often or relight it.”
Huh. I wonder if someone will say something stupid on the record?
Lafayette fire prevention Chief Ron Ritchey said the redesigned cigarettes will help prevent smoking-related fires.
“We don’t see a lot of these fires locally, but we’re really happy about the change,” he said. “There are a multitude of factors that cut down on cigarette house fires, like flame-resistant mattresses. We’re getting smarter about this problem and tackling it from all angles.”
Getting smarter about the problem? What problem? How is the redesigned cigarette going to have much of an impact on smoking-related fires if you “don’t see a lot of these fires locally”! What the fuck! (And is it possible for anyone in Indiana to get smarter, ever?) Thanks for sticking your nose into something that doesn’t concern you, Hoosier state! And, since we’re talking about dumb shit, how about instead of buying a flame-resistant mattresses, smokers STOP SMOKING IN BED! Ack! (Sorry…smoker’s cough.)
Burning yourself into oblivion is the least of smokers’ problems, though.
“Since coming back from Kentucky about a week ago, I’ve been coughing constantly and having chest pains because you have to inhale harder on the new cigarettes,” [Jess Brewer] said. The new design forces a smoker to inhale to get the flame through two strips of paper incorporated into the cigarette. If left unattended, the cigarette will go out.
“I’m totally against the change,” Brewer said. “What’s the point of making safer cigarettes if they lead to negative health effects?”
Negative health effects like LUNG CANCER? Is this woman serious? Is a smoker actually talking about the negative health effects of smoking cigarettes and leaving out the whole cancer thing? Am I in an alternate universe, or is this person as fucking dumb as she seems?
Just in case you thought that moron, assuredly without any kind of M.D. or public health credentials, was an anomaly: Nope.
Lafayette resident Michelle Griesi said while she isn’t fond of how the new cigarettes work, she understands why the change is being made.”I’m sure it might be a pain to have to relight over and over again, but it’s more important that people are safe,” Griesi said Wednesday between puffs during her smoke break. “If the change has an effect on flavor or health, then I might have a problem with them.”
OK, proof that this woman has a job in which she works at a cash register — she’s on a smoke break. Look, as a former smoker myself, I can sympathize with the change-in-flavor worries. The health worries? Hey, dickface — you’ll worry a lot less about your health if you quit smoking.
Message to Mitch Daniels: Follow Rick Perry’s lead.
Riiiiight – the chest pain and cough is from having to inhale harder.