Solution to Connecticut’s $8 billion budget gap: Girl fight action! Before you go calling us sexist, hear us out. Girl fights already happen in Connecticut. (Of course, a guy ended getting injured in that fight. Some poor sap tried to break it up and some other dude knocked the motherfucker out.) Check this lede:
The special on Wednesday’s menu at the Hungry Tiger was a “Wine Dinner for two” but when the dinner crowd left, a much rowdier crowd moved in, and the night ended up coming to blows.
Whoa! The Hungry Tiger was the scene of a fight? It’s such a class joint! (Actually, we’ve never been, but it’s called “The Hungry Tiger” and they advertised a wine dinner. Call it an informed hunch.)
Anyspray, there’s been scuttlebutt in the Connecticut legislature that the governor is a serious douche to the poors, and that she’s been cutting programs that aid the poors in order to address the budget gap. We suggest that instead of cutting programs for the poor, the Gov. sets up a state-run Girl Fight! (TM) program in which two women get drunk and start a scratchfest. The state charges admission to the battle and keeps the bulk of the dough. Any guy who wants to try to break up the fray has to pay an entrance fee himself. Bars that host events get a cut of the admissions dollars and can host no more than three Girl Fight! (TM)s in a row so that as many establishments as possible can get in on the action. It’ll be like a CT RollerGirls event, but fun.
Oh, Connecticut: You’re welcome.
[...] October 8, 2009 by Dave As much as we’d like to think we’re captains of industry over at SCFOM World Headquarters, we know that honor belongs to this guy. Still, we do some things correctly, such as writing one story, months ago, about a girl fight. [...]