If you’ve been playing Where in the World is Nancy Pelosi lately, the answer has likely been, “Beats the shit out of me.” Chances are you’ve lost the game enough times to want to give up the whole thing and go back to smacking hookers around in Grand Theft Auto IV. We don’t blame you.
Because all disgraced/useless members of Congress must resurface from time to time, Thursday was Pelosi’s turn, and her return is a doozy. She said publicly the House won’t take up a Michael Jackson resolution.
Because dead Michael Jackson is the story that won’t die, Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-Outtolunchville), sponsored HR 600 with Rep. Diane Watson (D-Areyoufuckinkiddignmetown), which — we’re not kidding — suggests Congress, and therefore the American people, “Hono[r] an American legend and musical icon.” The bill was introduced on June 26 and referred to the House Committee on Foreign Affairs (sounds weird, but Jackson-Lee and Watson are members). On July 9, the bill — this is a fucking staggering statistic — picked up 10 more co-sponsors, including Dennis Kucinich, the only man in Ohio who carries more personal items than a homeless guy.
“A resolution, I think, would open up (debate) to contrary views that are not necessary at this time to be expressed in association with a resolution whose purpose is quite different,” Pelosi explained.
Probably quite right. Remember, Rep. Peter King, (R-Assholeville) bashed the media’s coverage of Michael (correctly) and called The King of Pop a “pervert,” a “pedophile,” and “child molester” (never convicted).
Anyway, imagine the reaction assholes like King would have if Congress acknowledged MJ’s accomplishments. He’d probably have an affair with someone since that’s what Republicans apparently do!
We digress. As much as this pains us to admit: Pelosi’s right, even if she wants to quash the bill because people would say mean things, not because it’s retarded. Look at the text from this stupid document:
Honoring an American legend and musical icon.
Whereas Michael Jackson was not only an accomplished recording and performing artist, he was a noted humanitarian;
Whereas Michael Jackson began his stellar recording career as the featured member of `The Jackson 5′, which was the first act in recorded history to have their first four major label singles `I Want You Back’,`ABC’,`The Love You Save’, and `I’ll Be There’, reached the top of the American charts;
Whereas the internationally recognized `Thriller’ released in 1982, which became a smash hit yielded seven top-10 singles. The album sold 21 million copies in the United States and at least 27 million worldwide. It was a monumental moment in music history;
Whereas Michael Jackson was labeled `The King of Pop’, Jackson’s music is internationally recognized and critically acclaimed[.]
And it goes on. And on. And the “King of Pop” isn’t even a real title!
Here’s our question: When is someone in Congress going to recognize the original line-up of the Eagles? Don Henley, Glenn Frey, Randy Meisner and Bernie Leadon have the greatest selling album of all time! Sure, the Eagles are mildly evil and “Peaceful, Easy Feeling” is not as hummable as “Billie Jean,” but the Eagles sold a ton of records, too. And white people love them.
Or honor John Lennon! Sure, he wasn’t an American, but he went to the trouble (and for him, it was trouble) of getting a Green Card. Or honor Little Richard! Or Elvis Presley!
Sigh. At least HR 600 isn’t the worst bill in the history of Congress. That honor goes to this bill. Speaker Pelosi, where was your voice on that?
This would seem to be the first smart thing she has done since taking office.