It’s been a while since anyone on staff here at SCFOM has been to Fashion Week, so forgive us for not being totally up on the trends, but isn’t one of the main tenets of fashion that you don’t want your clothes to draw attention to the fact that beneath them you’re a big, fat slob? Isn’t that why they made Babe Ruth wear pinstripes? Isn’t that why people wear black in the summer?
It is, right?
So imagine our reaction when we ran across this headline: “Some NWA flight attendants want to wear red dress”
First we were intrigued by how vague the headline was. Then we were even more intrigued because we had no idea that ’80s rap super group NWA had an airline. Fuck Tha Police, let’s get to the article:
A Northwest Airlines union is protesting merger partner Delta Air Lines’ uniform policy that keeps flight attendants over size 18 from wearing Delta’s eye-catching signature red dress.
The red dress with a cinched waist is one of the work-wear options for Delta flight attendants, and it’s the type of uniform that makes flight attendants striding through airport concourses stand out.
Right off the top, hey, remember when unions used to fight for things like, oh we don’t know, safer working conditions so that people didn’t die on the job!? Now they’re fighting so that fat people can wear red!?
We get it. Back in the ’50s, being a size 20 was enough to make you stand out in this country. Today if you’re a size 20, though, you’re just another (fat) face in the crowd. Ugh, what could the rationale for all of this possibly be?
“Red is a color that attracts attention and someone, somewhere has made a decision that they don’t want to attract attention to someone in a dress that’s larger than a size 18,” said Patricia Reller, vice-chair of the grievance committee at the flight attendants union’s executive council at Northwest.
Yes, and?
While eating a hot dog and chili cheese fries, Reller continued:
“I’m very offended by it.”
Of course you are, Pat. Of all the things in the world, this has to be one of the most offensive. It’s almost as offensive as when Burger King stopped selling the Meat’normous Omelet Sandwich. F that!
Still, Pat wasn’t done. She has another beef (pun). Turns out the other people prohibited from wearing the red dress are flight attendants who wear orthopedic shoes. Huh?
The Association of Flight Attendants at Northwest filed grievances over the lack of availability of the red dress for females over size 18 and over a requirement that flight attendants who wear orthopedic shoes must wear slacks and not a skirt or dress. Those that wear the orthopedic shoes must obtain a doctor’s note.
Wait, what? They must obtain a doctor’s note to wear orthopedic shoes? This is actually a place where someone will come strutting into work wearing his or her sweet new ortho shoes, and someone’s gonna ask for a note? What’s going on here!? More importantly, how many people is the orthopedic shoes caveat even affecting? Three?
Reller continued:
“There are fuller-figured women who would like to wear the red dress,” Reller said.
Yes, and there are fuller-figured men who would like to bone supermodels. Life isn’t fair and you can’t always get what you want. Really, shouldn’t these people be happy they have a job at all? They even have a job where they’re allowed to be seen! Not that there’s any way around that.
(Because they’re fat.)
I like the bit in the Time magazine story about how Ruby Tuesday’s customers hated the smaller portions. And being told the calorie count. As if Ruby Tuesday burst their fat bubble(s).