Usually when we highlight LA Times articles, we do it because they feature just astonishingly bad journalism. This time, however, we’re more concerned with the people in the story: New Jersey vegans.
Turns out said vegans (who, mind you, don’t eat freakin’ meat or use any animal products) are concerned about hot dog safety. They’re so concerned, in fact, that they want a warning label on all hot dogs that says they cause cancer. Oh, and duh, they’re suing.
“Warning: Consuming hot dogs and other processed meats increases the risk of cancer.”
That’s the label that a vegan advocacy group wants a New Jersey court to order Oscar Mayer, Hebrew National and other food companies to slap on hot dog packages.
Alright, look, here’s the thing about hot dogs:
1) They’re delicious, especially at a baseball game.
2) As anyone who’s eaten one (ie NOT a vegan) can attest, cancer probably isn’t even in the top 10 in terms of terrible things hot dogs cause. Enjoy them in moderation, folks.
Anyway, bring on the science!
“Just as tobacco causes lung cancer, processed meats are linked to colon cancer,” says Neal Barnard, president of the Cancer Project and an adjunct professor at the George Washington University medical school in Washington, D.C. “Companies that sell hot dogs are well aware of the danger, and their customers deserve the same information.”
You know who else is well aware of the danger, adjunct professor Barnard? EVERYONE! No one thinks processed meats are safe! NO ONE! They’re round! That’s not natural; it might as well be shaped like a tumor, for chrissakes! We know! Still, they’re delicious!
Now, to put things in perspective:
Americans spent $3.4 billion purchasing 730-million packages of hot dogs and sausages in U.S. supermarkets last year, according to the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council.
Ha! Kidding! We didn’t want to put things in perspective; we just wanted to point out that there’s actually a National Hot Dog & Sausage Council.
Sausage Fest!
“If one were to call for a ‘black label’ on frankfurters, where should the warning label end? If we were to evaluate each food for its naturally occurring toxins and eliminate that food, then our food plate would be empty,” said Roger Clemens, a nutrition expert at USC’s pharmacy school.
Hmmm, not really a lot to say about that quote, but it’s good to see that the Rocket landed on his feet after the whole steroids scandal. Lesson: stay in school, kids!
Of course, the good people at Kraft must have something smart to say about this, considering they make a bunch of hot dogs and would stand to, we don’t know, lose money if labels were slapped on their product. Maybe they have a study ready to say how safe these puppies are?
The industry is dead set against such warning labels.
“These proposals are unfounded. Hot dogs have been enjoyed by consumers for more than 100 years,” said Sydney Lindner, a Kraft spokeswoman.
Sydney Lindner: worst. spokeswoman. ever.
Hey, Sydney, know what else people have been enjoying for a long time? Drinking and driving! Also, smoking crack! Aaand running with the bulls!
Just because people enjoy doing things doesn’t mean they’re safe.
Ugh. Everyone loses.
Especially Roger Clemens.
As a hot dog slinger I got to say that while there are some hot dogs out there that may not be that good as in ingredients, but most of us hot dog vendors use 100% all beef and I know our dogs have no garbage in them. Key word moderation! and fiber. sigh! is Al Gore in ths group?