Yep! It must be true! Everything is better! The economy is booming; everyone has healthcare (but not the socialist kind!); and the world is full of rainbows! Hooray!
Really, how else can we possibly interpret Rep. Richard “PenisBrains” Neal’s (D-Mass.) decision to complain to President Obama about his beer choice?
That’s right, Mr. Neal has a problem with Obama drinking Bud Light (fair enough), Henry Louis Gates drinking Red Stripe (that’s racist) and Sargeant Crowley pounding a Blue Moon (elitist). Neal would rather everyone everywhere drink Sam Adams, and he actually wrote to the White House to let them know.
In a letter to Obama dated Wednesday, Massachusetts Rep. Richard Neal strongly urges the president not to drink Budweiser, now owned by a Belgian company. Nor should the White House consider serving Miller or Coors, Neal writes, both owned by a United Kingdom conglomerate.
Instead, the White House should serve the three men — all with ties to Massachusetts — the local favorite, not only because of its popularity in the region but also because it remains the largest American-owned and brewed beer, Neal says.
The sad thing about this story (actually, saddest, because there are so many sad things) is that it was so predictable. Barack Obama throws like a girl! Barack Obama wears mom jeans! Of course people would have a problem with what beer he drinks, too!
In fact, we’re going to predict the next line of complaints right now: Barack Obama is a bad Muslim! What’s he doing drinking beer at all!?
Why did Gates’ daughter write in the Journal of Nepotism, the Daily Beast, that he drank Sam Adams???? NOW I WANT TO KNOW. Did he drink the beer of choice at Surf Club and Bar A or did he drink the beer of colonists???