Because we’ve spent all day talking about pee and Glenn Beck’s anus, we figured we’d kick it up (down?) a notch and talk about balls for a second.
The world of sports is a dangerous place — we don’t have you to tell you that, Tony Conigliaro — and it only seemed to get dangerouser today when we saw perhaps the most horrifying headline in baseball (and maybe newspaper) history.
Check out what the Seattle Post-Intelligencer wrote about today: “Beltre could be out for season with testicle injury”
OWOWOWOWOWOW
Check out the horrifying details after the jump…if you dare.
The Mariners placed third baseman Adrian Beltre on the 15-day disabled list with a severely contused right testicle.
Beltre suffered the injury in the ninth inning when a ground ball off the bat of Chicago White Sox shortstop Alexei Ramirez hit Beltre in the groin. Beltre does not wear a protective cup. He finished the 14-inning game.
WTF, Adrian Beltre!? Why on earth are you not wearing a protective cup? Even Dave and I wear protective cups to work!
Don’t ask.
Ugh. More.
The injury deals a major blow to the Mariners, who are hanging around the fringe of the American League wild card race as they enter a four-game series against the New York Yankees.
Yeah, sure. Major blow to the Mariners.
FALSE.
Major blow to ADRIAN BELTRE!
