Because nothing on it is funny. Not even that stupid video with the stupid toddler bitching out her stupid tenants about not paying their stupid rent.
Yeah, yeah. We hate a lot here at Some Country for Old Men. But it’s not really hate when a) we’re correct, b) you’re not, and c) you’re retarded. All of the video clips that play when a viewer clicks the “Die!” button at Funny or Die are funnier than the videos being judged. Ugh.
Take a look at the videos currently on the “Today’s Best” (or “Today’s Bloody Best” since it’s Halloween soon or something):
1. James Franco doing some bad acting (like that’s anything new) in a video that parodies celebrity endorsements. Wow! How cutting edge and original! The idea that celebrity endorsements are a sham! And that celebrities are stupid!
2. Anthony Edwards sending up — wait for it! — celebrity endorsements! And celebrity narcissism! Wow! And trends! Did they just whip this thing together? Above-average-actor Edwards isn’t believable for one frame of this video. He’s just too smart to pull off acting stupid. James LeGros (superior actor? or just understands comedy better? or is stupid?) is actually quite convincing as the chagrined friend. Too bad he’s showcasing his talent in such a shitty piece of crap.
3. “It Came from the Box,” a creepy movie from the ’50s! A wacky parody of bad ’50s horror movies that’s so good it actually comes across as bad! And totally unfunny! Holy fuck!
4. “Haunted Car,” a short about a car that’s haunted and is so not fucking funny.
5. And finally, “Leopard Likes Driving,” which is hilarious because someone’s driving around with a leopard in his car! And the leopard sticks his head out the window like a dog does! Holy shit, that’s hilarious!
Oh, wait! No it isn’t. Because I’m not 8.
We shouldn’t be surprised. Fat America is, after all, the country that gave us box office bonanzas Meet the Parents and its totally sidesplitting sequel (sarcasm) Meet the Fockers. Can’t wait for Little Fockers! (Barf.)
What about just “Die”? Is that too snappy?
Yeah, maybe just “Die.” Because if you take out the funny (as they have), there’s no “or,” is there?
I actually did like the segment for the first video on the pregnant woman’s desparate attempts for a one night stand. That was funny. Otherwise, Will Farrell should stick to his other adventures.