Some Country for Old Men

No doubt it’s been a strange week. In the wake of Republicans winning a few local elections, GOP pundits are saying it’s a big indictment of Obama and his policies. And in the wake of the NY-23 loss, those same Republicans are saying that’s not reeeeally a loss for them but a win. And then the Democrats are saying that Chris Christie is fat or something.

Lucky for all of us, something makes sense: Some asshole wearing a track suit was denied a first class seat on a United flight. We know, we know. It’s elitist to deny someone a seat on a plane because of the way he’s dressed. It’s also ABSOLUTELY THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Take it away, USA Today:

An executive with Best Buy claims a United Airlines gate agent refused to allow him to take a first-class seat because he was wearing a track suit, reports FOX 5 News of Washington. Armando Alvarez, a corporate executive with electronics retailer Best Buy, says he used miles to upgrade to first class on his Monday flight from Washington Dulles to Connecticut (presumably Hartford).

Hmm. So far so good. Some guy who looks like a scumbag was denied a pricey seat. No problems there.

Alvarez says that once his upgrade cleared, he walked to the counter near the gate to get his new seat assignment. That’s when he says the gate agent told him that his track suit was too casual for him to sit in first class.

“I was humiliated,” Alvarez is quoted as saying to FOX 5 reporter Will Thomas following the incident. “I was embarrassed and when some of the passengers were boarding behind me they said, ‘Hey, what just happened?’ And I said the agent just said I wasn’t properly dressed to go in first class today. And they said, ‘Was he kidding?’ I said obviously not because I’m boarding and not getting in first class.”

Guess what, dickhead? YOU SHOULD BE HUMILIATED. You’re wearing a TRACKSUIT. How about acting as if you’ve traveled first class before?

What were you thinking wearing a tracksuit on a commercial flight? Do you have Down Syndrome? Getting ready for the big game against Michigan State? No? You say you’re an executive for Best Buy? THEN WHY AREN’T YOU WEARING A FUCKING BUSINESS SUIT? Or at least a blue polo and khakis?

Look, we’re not bad people (yes we are). We understand that people like to travel as comfortably as possible during a time in which air travel is especially uncomfortable. But what we don’t understand is why EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES HAS DECIDED IT’S OK TO BE A FUCKING SLOB.

Tracksuits? Tracksuits on airlines? Worn by an executive? Seriously. Best Buy ought to FIRE his fucking ass. No joke.

We realize it’s possible the guy may have been traveling for leisure, not work. Don’t care. If you’re going to bandy about your Best Buy corporate exec credentials in the post-denial interview, you should have been dressed as an executive going in. Then there wouldn’t have been a problem or a story, and Fat America would have one less asshole dressing like an asshole during air travel.

The comments on the original USA Today story don’t support our view, but that’s not a surprise, either. It’s still a victory for taste and a victory for humanity.