Some Country for Old Men

And by that we mean: Billy Corgan, we don’t give a shit about your opinion. Billy’s the latest sort-of-famous person we’re adding to the category “Celebrities weighing in on something about which they have zero knowledge.” (The list includes Jenny McCarthy and anything, John Ratzenberger and health care, and Warren Beatty and the 2003 recall of Gray Davis.) This week’s topic: SWINE FLU!

See, swine flu is on Fat America‘s mind. Billy Corgan is part of Fat America. He’s also a quasi-celebrity with a lot of time to reflect (because no one cares about him anymore). He’s got a blog. You see where we’re going with this, right?

If you follow some of the links I have been supplying as of late, you’ll notice many are focused on the propaganda build up to our day of reckoning with the Swine Flu virus. I say ‘propaganda’ because, in my heart, there is something mighty suspicious about declaring an emergency for something that has yet to show itself to be a grand pandemic. Our American President Obama has declared a national emergency about this virus, which he in his own words said was, at this point, a preventative measure. So, why declare an emergency if there isn’t one?

There’s just too much awful stuff in that paragraph to pick apart, so we’ll just sum up by saying that Billy has difficulty with word choice (“propaganda”) and syntax (“I say ‘propaganda’ because, in my heart, there is something mighty suspicious about declaring an emergency blah blah blah more words that don’t work well together”).

In case you haven’t been keeping score, there are a lot of famous people out there who won’t be getting the swine flu vaccine. Some of those people we don’t like (Rush Limbaugh). Some we do (Bill Maher).

We’re getting ahead of ourselves, though. (Cheap journalist’s trick coming up.) Will Billy be getting the H1N1 vaccine?

I for one will not be taking the vaccine. I do not trust those who make the vaccines, or the apparatus behind it all to push it on us thru fear. This is not judgment; it is a personal decision based on research, intuition, conversations with my doctor and my ‘family’. If the virus comes to take me Home, that is between me and the Lord. I have put up some of these links to inspire the question in you, so that perhaps you can make a better decision for yourself. That is what holistic life is about: a willingness to look at all the facts or opinions.

Ugh. First, thanks for making one more dose available to someone else, Billy. We were really worried that because of the vaccine shortage, your bald, aging ass would prevent some pregnant woman or stupid kid or Goldman Sachs executive from getting dosed. Second, who really cares what you’re doing? Have you written a good song since “Bullet with Butterfly Wings“? Does Goth America need another fat guy weeping over a guitar to know that things out there are bad and, like, maybe just getting worse?

One thing we’re pretty sure of is that Billy’s highly informed opinion (“based on research, intuition, conversations with my doctor and my ‘family’,” whatever that means) is just as illegitimate as the rest of Fat America’s. As Billy himself says:

I am not a doctor, and I am in no way suggesting that you should follow any medical advice from me.

Thanks, Billy! If you’re not a doctor and you’re not suggesting anyone follow your advice (bullshit), why the 840 rambling, poorly composed words? We know songwriting is your forte, but come on!

I am willing to question anything: the existence of God, the existence of me or you or Robert Zimmerman. I am willing to wonder aloud whether any of this we experience here on Earth is real. What is there to be afraid of in questioning life itself? I know God is not afraid of my doubt. That is why He gave me the faculty to doubt, to overcome its mystique to better know faith.

And while we appreciate your need to question shit, we’re not sure why you need to get all cheeky and cute and invoke Bob Dylan, John Lennon and rock history with a dumb reference to the nature of celebrity culture and worship, but OK. Your lyrics are kind of obtuse and self-important in a childish way, too. Makes sense that your weird science-based religious theory would be as well.

Just so you know how ridiculous Billy’s thought process is, here’s a sampling of his recent tweets:

Maybe life really is a bummer when you’re a hummer. Get the vaccine or don’t get it, Billy. But please: SHUT UP. Oh, and break up Smashing Pumpkins, too, because they’re crap without Jimmy Chamberlain.