In a hyphenated word: Awe-sum.
See, we’re pretty sure Elton’s right. About Jesus being a ‘mo. Granted, all this stuff comes from Parade magazine, which, as we all know, is a magazine for retards. But since most of America is retarded, it only makes sense that John’s statements would appear there. And, as one of the Venerable Gays ™, anything Elton John says in relation to being gay is above reproach.
That hasn’t stopped him from facing backlash from supposed followers of Christ. Here’s Elton’s first gem: “[Jesus was] a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems.”
“On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel,” he continued. “Try being a gay woman in the Middle East — you’re as good as dead.”
Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, issued a statement on the organization’s Web site, saying, “Jesus was certainly compassionate, but to say He was ‘super-intelligent’ is to compare the Son of God to a successful game-show contestant.”
“More seriously, to call Jesus a homosexual is to label Him a sexual deviant,” the statement continued.
A spokesman for the Church of England told the BBC, “Sir Elton’s reflection that Jesus calls us all to love and forgive is one shared by all Christians. But insights into aspects of the historic person of Jesus are perhaps best left to the academics.”
Give the Church of England points for tactfully calling Elton John a deviant (if points for such a thing are awarded).
There’s really no defense for the Catholics, whose higher ranking officials dress like they’re going to a pride parade. As for Bill Donohue, anyone that far to the right is hiding something. Our guess? He’ll die and we’ll find out that he molested children in the attic for 30 years, and there’ll be a quote from his wife in the Boston Globe: “I always wondered about Bill’s collection of tiny shoes.”