Some Country for Old Men

Has there ever been a more sour unpleasant old man than John McCain? Don Rickles, maybe?

How about this: has there ever been a more sour unpleasant old man whose default response to any criticism is, “but I was in Vietnam” than John McCain? Answer: No. Of course not.

On our regular trip to the Drudge Report today, we were greeted with this amazing advertisement:

It struck us as weird because…is that a “Braveheart” reference? Way to be timely, J.D. Hayworth. If you’re John McCain, though, you’re not struck by an out-of-date allusion, but by someone…um…impugning your military record. Um, what? Yes, Matt Drudge got all meta on us today, because just a mouse click down from the above ad, is this headline: “J.D. Hayworth’s ad irks John McCain.” From said story:

Sen. John McCain’s re-election campaign is decrying as insulting an online ad by GOP Senate challenger J.D. Hayworth that mocks McCain, R-Ariz., by defacing his picture with some sort of blue warpaint.

“Defacing his picture”? Who wrote this, Sarah Palin? And really, Arizona Republic? “Some sort of blue warpaint”? Does anything illustrate how retarded this kerfuffle is more than the fact that no one even has a clue what’s on his face or what it’s supposed to mean? But leave it to John McCain to get right to the straight talk. Here’s the actual response from his spokesperson:

Ex-Congressman J.D. Hayworth should immediately apologize and and take down his latest online ad, which is an outrageous offense to John McCain’s lifetime of honorable service to our state and nation, and insulting to Native Americans here in Arizona and across America,” said Shiree Verdone, McCain’s campaign manager. “Mr. Hayworth is welcome to debate the challenges facing our state and nation, but this kind of character assassination has no place in the Republican Party, and Mr. Hayworth should ashamed of his campaign for running it.”

Insulting to Native Americans!?! An offense to John McCain’s lifetime of honorable service?!?

The simple fact that no one has a freakin’ clue what the ad means illustrates how inoffensive it is.

Wait, should I be offended? Here’s a tip: If you’re not sure, then no! No, you shouldn’t be offended!

Of course, leave it to J.D. Hayworth to actually capitulate in this situation.

Rogers, McCain’s campaign communications director, says the Hayworth campaign has altered the ad to put McCain in “blueface” — which more clearly makes him look like a character out of ”Avatar.”

Rogers put out this written statement on Hayworth’s refusal to spike the ad:

“The Hayworth campaign obviously understands that the ad is offensive since they’ve already changed it. Unfortunately, this proves yet again that Mr. Hayworth isn’t focused on solving the big challenges Arizona faces, but instead seems consumed by petty and insulting attacks against Senator McCain. It’s another example of just how hollow all of Mr. Hayworth’s talk about ‘respecting’ Senator McCain actually is.”

Okay, now we’re not even joking when we post this next item; this is the actual new image that Hayworth’s team created. We’re not joking:

So there! Are you satisfied now, John McCain!? J.D. Hayworth’s already-confusing ad now looks neither like Mel Gibson in “Braveheart” nor like Sigourney Weaver in “Avatar.” We don’t even know what it looks like, but we’re sure you can find a way to interpret it as being offensive to veterans.