Some Country for Old Men

That’s the line from the Family Research Council, or as it’s known colloquially, the My-Family-is-a-Beard-and-My-Blind-Fear-of-Queers-Masks-My-Rampant-Closeted-Homosexuality-Council. Talking Points Memo reported late Wednesday that the FRC has done a “study” that confirms the gays will destroy everything!

We’re not talking rainbow flag pins instead of the stars and stripes. Oh no. We’re talking full-on gay fellatio while innocent straights who just want to shoot brown people in foreign lands sleep.

In other words, ugh. But why delay further? Here are some choice moments, via TPM:

We are today releasing an analysis of publicly available documents which show that homosexuals in the military are three times more likely to commit sexual assaults than heterosexuals are relative to their numbers,” Sprigg said. “We believe this problem would only increase if the current law against homosexuality…were to be repealed.”

Note: Sprigg was joined by retired military officials. Of course they’re retired! They’re always retired! Oh, and there are figures:

Sprigg said his “analysis” was military documents tracking sexual assault cases. According to his figures, 8.2% of sexual assaults reported to military authorities in fiscal 2009 were homosexual in nature.

“Yet homosexual activists themselves have admitted that less than 3% of Americans — 2.8% of men and 1.4% of women — are homosexual or bi-sexual,” Sprigg explained.

“Taken together,” he continued, “these figures suggest that homosexuals in the military are about 3x as likely to commit sexual assaults as heterosexuals are.”

And the “most common type of homosexual assault” according to Sprigg? “one in which the offender fondles or performs oral sex on a sleeping victim,” he said.

Um, those numbers don’t really add up. But OK. We’ll bite. What happens next?

“If open homosexuality was permitted in the military, these numbers can only increase,” Sprigg said. “The number of homosexuals would grow, the threat of discharge for homosexual behavior would be eliminated and protected class status for homosexuals would make victims hesitant to report assaults and make commanders hesitant to punish them for fear of appearing homophobic.”

Wow, that’s a lot of supposition. Too bad nearly eight in 10 Americans want Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell repealed. Seriously, how does someone become this afraid of the gays? Oh yeah, they’re afraid of burning in Hell because Jesus hates their sexuality.

Our suggestion: Peter Sprigg (his names means penis twig!) comes out to God, his country and his family. FRC homeboy George Rekers finally got nailed. How long will it take for Sprigg?