Some Country for Old Men

Hey, WTF is going on here? We’re not saying that Israelis should go back to Germany or Poland or wherever the hell they came from (Thomas suggested that) because that’s nuts. But we are suggesting that maybe, just maybe, Israel should get the hell out of Palestine.

Seriously, what’s with the love for Israel? Aside from, you know, them being a totally great ally in a region where they’ve boosted Fat American street cred (sarcasm), what have they done for us?

We’re not suggesting that there’s a black and white angle for Israel and Palestine. Not at all. That region of the planet is far too old and fucked up and filled with people who are born hating each other to go making knee-jerk decisions about everything that goes on there.

Which is why — hey, hear us out! — it’s totally retarded to get angry at Helen Thomas about being Helen Thomas. She’s old and senile, and like your grandmother, doesn’t give a shit that she’s not allowed to say the first thing that pops into her head. For Christ’s sake, after she told that rabbi that Jews should get the hell out of Palestine, she asked him for a good gefilte fish casserole recipe. She’s fucking bonkers.

And since we should be exploring every idea about how to resolve the Israel-Palestine debacle, Israeli Jews getting the hell out is a legit option. But getting angry at Helen Thomas? Christ, tomorrow she’ll get her head caught in her golf bag and everyone will forget about what she said about Israel.

Oh, and reporters who are angry at her: Can’t say anything bad about Israel? Fine. But you cuntbags sat there and let George Bush start a war with false evidence and THIS makes you mad!? Mad enough to ask that she quit? That’s an inappropriate reaction to Helen Thomas being Helen Thomas.