"Your custard is not as big a fucking deal as you think."
Okay, fine. We haven’t exactly been on our game lately. On the one hand, this site has sort of turned into a sad video-sharing and tweet-compiling service, but on the other hand STOP WHINING — we still had a better week than Joe Biden.
Granted that’s a low bar, but Jiminy Christmas, what the heck is wrong with Joe Biden? First he took his show to Milwaukee, where he dined on custard — NOT ice cream, you dunce — and called a smartass small business owner a “smartass.” Oooh, scandal! Here’s the thing with that situation: the guy went over to Biden looking to mix it up for the cameras, and did it with a stupid issue — one he’s wrong about. He told the Veep that he didn’t have to pay for the custard he was eating, but if Biden really wanted to pay him back he could just lower his taxes. It’s a bit like if I offered to hold a door open for you, and your compromise offer was that I buy you a car.
Beyond that, though, there are the facts that Obama has cut taxes for 95 percent of Americans, and tax bills are at their lowest levels since 1950. But hey, Joe Biden, if you just lower my taxes, I can finally make money selling custard! Maybe it’s the first time this joker has ever had a chance to talk to anyone in government, because he should’ve delivered that message to George W. Bush. Or Bill Clinton. Or Ronald Reagan. Because they all oversaw higher tax bills than Obama.
That said, shut the goddamn hell up, Joe Biden. You’ve been in politics for 900 years, and you still can’t tell when a camera and mic are near you? When you’re not busy saying everyone at Dunkin Donuts and 7-11 has an Indian accent, you go to custard shops and call people “smartass?” What’s going on?
Best part of this story — Joe Biden was only just getting started. From there he went to Louisville, Ken., where his advance team quickly went to work shutting off all means of cooling, and went right ahead with a sweltering late-June event. The result? This:
The man who comically and slowly crashes to the floor is GE CEO Jim Campbell. He was on hand to say how great the much-maligned Recovery Act has been for America. He was ready to praise the Obama Administration and their work on the economy. It was a pretty nice coup, and a pretty easy event…until the Biden people stepped in.
[GE spokesperson Kim] Freeman says it’s believed Campbell’s collapse was heat related. The conditions on stage were especially hot because of TV lights and because the Vice-President’s staff had requested some fans be turned off so Biden’s comments could be heard. Because production was suspended for the event, GE complied with the request, Freeman said.
Very large fans that resemble helicopter blades hang from the ceiling behind the stage where Biden spoke. The fans are called “Big Ass fans,” named after the company of the same name based in Lexington, Kentucky.
So you mean turning off all the air flow during a sweltering late-June event wasn’t a good idea?!
Even after all this, there is one good thing we can say about Joe Biden: at least he still hasn’t shot anyone in the face.
Where might one find a local custard shop? Not that I want to torment the management, but custard is delicious. Also, is “smartass” even that bad of a thing to say? It’s like what your grandpa calls you out with.
If you go to kentuckybuzz.wordpress.com, Jim Jordan (Fibber McGee and Molly fans know that name. Yes, I’m a relatively old fart), has a blog with the story of a very hot church in Brooklyn that the owner of Big Ass Fans helped to get one of the fans installed. Great story.