I know what you’re thinking: Wouldn’t a movie that was just the phrase, “Oh, grow the fuck up,” be really boring to watch for two hours? Well, guess what? They shot some pictures for this piece of shit and actually strung them together.

Don’t forget to watch the whole trailer because there’s a surprise at the end (JOHN GALT IS A TRANSVESTITE): IT’S JUST PART ONE.

On a side note, you’d think the teabaggers would have been more vocal when George W. Bush was spending huge sums on two wars, giving tax cuts to the rich, expanding a prescription drug program without paying for it and growing the federal government’s role in public education with middling results. But then again, he’s not black.

If the Tea Party video hasn’t convinced you, maybe this HealthDay article will. Sure, it’s a couple weeks old, but we had an Old 96er to get through. Anyway, here’s some really frightening/hilarious information from the story:

Thirty percent of those in the “overweight” class believed they were actually normal size, while 70 percent of those classified as obese felt they were simply overweight. Among the heaviest group, the morbidly obese, almost 60 percent pegged themselves as obese, while another 39 percent considered themselves merely overweight.

In a word: Gah! And if you needed further evidence that those who look in the mirror and see that extra 30 pounds as normal are stupid, well, you’re stupid. And you have body image problems. And you need to see a therapist. And you need to go to the gym.

The one not-funny thing about this story is that 30 pounds overweight is the new normal. “Super Size Me” isn’t scary. It’s reality. Where’s Jamie Oliver when you need him?

Anyway, watch these people — mostly fat people — restore freedom all over Washington, D.C. The guy playing the piccolo at the beginning gets points for being awesome (no irony).

Problem: You’ve just shot your grandson who was staying at your house and getting up to take a whiz in the middle of the night.

Total hokum, right? Wrong. Check out this totes similar real-life story from The World:

A Gold Beach man accidentally shot his grandson early Sunday morning.

Arthur Harkey, 72, told authorities he was awakened by a noise and grabbed his gun from his nightstand. Harkey said he was startled by a figure in the hallway of his Gold Beach home, and the gun discharged at close range. Harkey realized he had shot his grandson and called 911.

Patrol Lieutenant John Ward arrived at the scene and found 22-year-old Raymond Murray on the floor with a gunshot wound to his lower abdomen.

But there’s no connection between owning a gun and shooting someone with it and NOT owning a gun and NOT shooting someone with it. And you’d be a fool and a communist to think otherwise.

This shit is confusing, but here’s the low down: John McCain had the balls to call someone not himself a huckster.

I KNOW, RIGHT?!!

Granted, the one on the receiving end of the huckster taunt is JD Hayworth, who in addition to being a hate-filled, race-baiting motherfucker is also probably a huckster. He did a bunch (or maybe one, who the fuck cares?) of ads a couple years back promising “free information about ‘hundreds of billions of dollars in government funding’ to individuals who attend a conference on the topic,” which, by the way, sounds totally hucksterish.

BUT – and this is a big but – getting free money from the government is right up the political alley of a guy who claims to hate the government but wants to hold government office (meaning Hayworth).

As for McCain, his huckster status is unconfirmed. After all, he did give us Sarah Palin. And he claimed he never considered himself a maverick. And he stopped being sort of moderate and went way, way, way to the right. At least he’s not JD Hayworth.

I mean, look at Hayworth’s eerie, Satanic stare, his receding hairline and giant, flaring nostrils. How can you not trust him?

[via Political Ticker]

The poll has Perry and White at 43% each. The survey of registered voters has a ±4.4% margin of error. A key indicator of Perry’s vulnerability is that his approval rating is only 36%, with 49% disapproval, while White has a favorable rating of 37%-25%. In the horserace cross-tabs, Perry leads among Republicans by 74%-15%, White leads among Democrats by 76%-10%, and White leads with independents by 42%-36%.

We know what you’re thinking. 1. Polls don’t mean dick. 2. Just because a guy is a Democrat in Texas doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to secede. Answering the second part first: good point. As for the first part: FU.

Then there’s this:

Another important number, which should concern Perry in light of his growing national profile as a leader among Tea Party-style Republicans, is this question: “Do you think that Rick Perry should run for President in 2012?” The answer is only Yes 10%, No 69%.

Sigh of relief. Big sigh.