I know what you’re thinking: Wouldn’t a movie that was just the phrase, “Oh, grow the fuck up,” be really boring to watch for two hours? Well, guess what? They shot some pictures for this piece of shit and actually strung them together.

Don’t forget to watch the whole trailer because there’s a surprise at the end (JOHN GALT IS A TRANSVESTITE): IT’S JUST PART ONE.

Yes, on a day dedicated to teaching justice, equality, togetherness and unity, the future governor of Alabama took it upon himself to say that although he doesn’t see color, he just can’t be friends with someone who’s different than him.

I was elected as a Republican candidate. But once I became governor … I became the governor of all the people. I intend to live up to that. I am color blind,” Bentley said in a short speech given about an hour after he took the oath of office as governor.

Then Bentley, who for years has been a deacon at First Baptist Church in Tuscaloosa, gave what sounded like an altar call.

“There may be some people here today who do not have living within them the Holy Spirit,” Bentley said. ”But if you have been adopted in God’s family like I have, and like you have if you’re a Christian and if you’re saved, and the Holy Spirit lives within you just like the Holy Spirit lives within me, then you know what that makes? It makes you and me brothers. And it makes you and me brother and sister.”

Bentley added, ”Now I will have to say that, if we don’t have the same daddy, we’re not brothers and sisters. So anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I’m telling you, you’re not my brother and you’re not my sister, and I want to be your brother.”

Got that? You can be his brother or sister – you just have to give up something fundamental in your own life, change your religion, and become Christian. It’s the kind of message you’d expect someplace like Afghanistan or Iran – the kind of thing that gets a pass in fundamentalist Muslim countries – but increasingly it’s also what you get right here at home from the Republican Party.

The same people who grumble about the Muslim world and bash their intolerance – the same people who decry their way of life and criticize (often rightly) that part of the world for fostering oppressive societies – are doing the same thing at home. Juxtapose this speech with Barack Obama’s speech last week in Tucson. One was about overcoming differences and working together. It was about working together toward a better tomorrow, bridging differences of all kinds along the way. It was about treating opponents with respect and recognizing that, despite our differences, we all are brothers and sisters.

The other was an overt refutation of that message. Be like me or pack your bags. Alabama: more and more like Iran every day.

[Political Wire]

In case you're wondering, yes, that's the glow of the TelePrompTer reflecting in Palin's glasses.

It’s bad enough that you’ve likely convinced a bunch of dumb, fat white guys out there who want to fuck you that you’d make a good president. But seriously, just stop being a horrible, ignorant, intolerant, pandering former half-term governor.

There are times on this site when we think we shouldn’t call Sarah Palin names because, you know, we have employers and eventually we’ll want to get new jobs somewhere else or get fired and then need to find a new job and someday a future employer will look at this website and say, “This person’s nuts. We can’t hire someone who’s NUTS.” (BTW, that’s what the Fat American people should say at the polls in 2012 when Sarah Palin runs for president on the Teabagger ticket.)

But then we see Palin’s stupid Luke Wilson jaw and her dumb, smug face and we lose our minds. She can’t DO ANYTHING BUT INCITE FEAR AND HATRED.

And you know what? She’s not entirely stupid because she’s smart enough to know that “blood libel” is a code phrase to anti-Semites across this country. She’s smart enough to know that it’s a wink to people who hate, people who eat up her garbage, people who just can’t stand that a black man is president.

WHY, WHY, WHY DOES ANYONE LISTEN TO THIS FUCKING CHEERLEADER?

We’ll tell you why people (and we use the word “people” loosely) listen to her: Because most Americans still live in high school well past the age of 18.

“Blood libel.” Sweet Jesus. What an ASSHOLE. We want to give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn’t know what that meant, but you’re beyond being afforded that luxury. You pander to the least common denominator and when you casually pepper your speech with anti-Semitic dog whistles, everyone knows it was intentional.

Fuck. This fucking country.

So someone walked into an event that Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (D-Ariz.) was holding outside a grocery store. Shot her in the head. Killed at least four people. Giffords is in surgery as of 3:39 p.m. ET.

Here are some choice images from Sarah Palin’s Facebook page. You remember the crosshairs? Yeah. Here’s THAT image. Of course, it’s not murder — or attempted murder — if you’re totally being a maverick, which the shooter, certainly a patriot, no doubt is.

And here’s the note on Palin’s Facebook page, helpfully screengrabbed in case it disappears.

Issue ONE: Apparently the Census data was released today, and crummy crazy-person states are poised to pick up like a million seats in Congress because everyone is leaving New York and moving to Utah. (What?) Maybe it’s for the warm weather or open spaces. Maybe it’s to get away from traffic or to find cheaper housing.

WRONG!

According to disgraced diaper-wearing, prostitute-frequenting Sen. David Vitter (R-La.), his state is poised to lose one of its House seats because of, you guessed it, illegal immigrants! SERIOUSLY!

Louisiana Sen. David Vitter (R) blamed illegal immigrants for his state’s having lost a congressional seat in the Census Bureau’s reapportionment.

Vitter said that Louisiana had lost a seat because other states were welcoming of illegal immigrants, who were in turn counted in population totals used to determine the number of seats in Congress each state is allowed in the next 10 years.

Oh right, I’m sure it was the illegals. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the devastating hurricane that wiped out an entire massive city in Louisiana! It probably has nothing to do with all of said city’s residents picking up and moving to Houston (which, incidentally, is in one of the state’s that is gaining seats in Congress. You’re probably right, David Vitter; it’s probably because of the illegal immigrants.

He’s white, fat, and like the most recent Republican president, can’t really figure out what the big deal was about civil rights. I mean, really, why are all those black people still so bent out of shape!? Can’t they just stop holding a grudge, already!?

Here’s Haley Barbour – the popularly-elected governor of a southern state – on the pre-civil rights era in Mississippi:

Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour says he doesn’t remember the Civil Rights era being “that bad,” citing his attendance at a Martin Luther King Jr. rally nearly 50 years ago.

“I just don’t remember it as being that bad,” Barbour (R), 63, told the conservative Weekly Standard, which did a lengthy profile on the governor. “I remember Martin Luther King came to town, in ’62. He spoke out at the old fairground and it was full of people, black and white.”

And, to be fair, for a white kid in Mississippi, that time period probably wasn’t “that bad.”

But how about some perspective? How about next time, we ask Emmett Till. Or Jimmie Lee Jackson. Ask any of the 50 people who were hospitalized after being beaten by police trying to cross Selma, Alabama’s Pettus Bridge. Ask Medgar Evers, or ask the four little girls who were killed when the 16th Street Baptist Church was BOMBED.

Hey, Haley Barbour? Did you like being mentioned as a GOP presidential contender? I hope it was fun, because someone who thinks the pre-civil rights era in Mississippi wasn’t “that bad” won’t ever be anything but a contender. You asshole.

[The Hill]

Subhead: duh.

Yes, apparently political propaganda thinly disguised as news and shamelessly used to fearmonger does not make for the most informed viewers. Take it away science:

Those who watched Fox News almost daily were significantly more likely than those who never watched it to believe that most economists estimate the stimulus caused job losses (12 points more likely), most economists have estimated the health care law will worsen the deficit (31 points), the economy is getting worse (26 points), most scientists do not agree that climate change is occurring (30 points), the stimulus legislation did not include any tax cuts (14 points), their own income taxes have gone up (14 points), the auto bailout only occurred under Obama (13 points), when TARP came up for a vote most Republicans opposed it (12 points) and that it is not clear that Obama was born in the United States (31 points). The effect was also not simply a function of partisan bias, as people who voted Democratic and watched Fox News were also more likely to have such misinformation than those who did not watch it — though by a lesser margin than those who voted Republican.

It shouldn’t require an explanation here, but because some of our readers are retarded, it’s worth noting that all of those assumptions are wrong. Barack Obama was born in the United States, Bush also bailed out the auto industry, and there is an overwhelming consensus in the scientific community that climate change is real and caused by people.

As Daniel Patrick Moynihan said, “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”

Of course, there should probably be a FOX News corollary: if you’re watching FOX News, you’re not entitled to any facts. In fact, you might just hear the PolitiFact Lie of the Year, over and over instead.

[Political Wire]

Of course, we digress. The point is: if the Republicans think having to, you know, do their job is some sort of religious persecution, what do you think they’ll think about gays in the military? Here’s a sampling.

This is from Duncan Hunter, who got his job after his dad – who has the same name – retired from the same seat:

The United States military is not the YMCA. It’s something special. [This is] a liberal crusade to create a utopia.”

A Village People reference…on the floor of the House…from a member of Congress. Lovely.

Louie “Terror Babies” Gohmert suggested gays in the military could bring down the entire American empire:

To my friend who said that history would judge us poorly, I would submit if you would look thoroughly at history — and I’m not saying it’s cause and effect — but when militaries throughout history of the greatest nations in the world have adopted the policy that “fine for homosexuality to be overt” — you can keep it private and control your hormones fine, if you can’t, that’s fine too — they’re toward the end of their existence as a great nation.

Rep. Mike Pence, in response to Rep. Barney Frank:

And let me say to the distinguished gentleman from Massachusetts who just spoke who suggested that those of us who oppose a repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell would commit some libel against Americans with whom we differ on life-style choices, nothing could be further from the truth. As a conservative, I have a particular world view about moral issues. They do not bear upon this question. This is an issue exclusively that is about recruitment, readiness, unit cohesion, and retention because we are a Nation at war. Now, I am not a soldier, but I am the son of a combat soldier.

Two things on this one: no one decides to be gay (that’d be kinda crazy), and the fact that someone’s dad was soldier doesn’t mean his son knows a thing about the military.

Finally, here are Rep. Buck McKeon’s (real name) closing remarks arguing against repeal:

Mr. Speaker, today we have heard a few times from the other side to do the right thing. I think the right thing will be in the eye of the beholder.

I choose to feel that the right thing for me is to protect those in uniform. I prefer to listen to what those who are leading those men into combat have to say.

Now, we may all have different opinions–obviously, from this debate, we do–but these are the ones who are going to be affected. These are the guys who are on the line right now, and they are saying it will have a negative impact–67 percent. I don’t think it is worth the risk to put them in any further jeopardy than they are in right now.

In fact, he was not choosing to listen to what “those leading those men into combat have to say.” Colin Powell supports repeal. Admiral Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs, supports repeal. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates supports repeal. The Navy’s senior officer, Gary Roughead sees “little impact” from repeal. The other Joint Chiefs all think the policy should be repealed as well, but they don’t want it to be done immediately.

Conveniently, the repeal bill the House passed yesterday (the one Republicans were arguing against) does not call for immediate repeal. It calls for repeal on the military’s own timetable. In fact, it repeals the policy ONLY after 1) receipt of the DOD study; and 2) a certification by the Secretary of Defense, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, and the President that repeal is first, consistent with military readiness, military effectiveness, unit cohesion, and recruiting; and second, that the DOD has prepared the necessary policies and regulations to implement repeal.

In other words, it’s not Congress forcing the military to do something it doesn’t want to do; it sets the framework for them to do something they want to do. It sets the framework for the military to do the right thing.

The bottom line is, in the war against getting anything done in Congress Jim DeMint is a leader. A Supreme honcho. The teabagger favorite and all-around piece of human garbage has decided that Congress is engaged in the (fake) war on Christmas. He says the push to get the massive spending bill through the Senate in the days before Dec. 25 is — and we’re not kidding — sacrilegious. Just read for yourself!

You can’t jam a major arms control treaty right before Christmas,” he told POLITICO. “What’s going on here is just wrong. This is the most sacred holiday for Christians. They did the same thing last year – they kept everybody here until (Christmas Eve) to force something down everybody’s throat. I think Americans are sick of this.”

He’s right about one thing: Americans are sick. They’re sick of obstructionists blocking shit for the sake of blocking it. They’re sick of the two parties not being able to compromise about anything. And — we can only speak for ourselves in this case — they’re sick of fucking assholes like Jim DeMint using religion as an opportunity to be a cock. Does this fucking asshole know how many Christians work on Christmas? What a fuckface.

Pardon. That was a little much, even for us (though we did publish an anti-Elizabeth Edwards obit last week, so maybe this a step backward in the bile department).

DeMint conveniently glosses over the fact that a lame duck Congress does this shit all the time. That is, pushes a massive amount of legislation forward in an effort to get laws passed, and — just as importantly — fund the government before the session ends.

The kicker is that this bozo’s solution is to slow the process down so that everyone has to work longer. Yeah, that’ll show ‘em!

“DeMint has demanded a full reading of the treaty, a process that, ironically, will push the chance for a vote closer to Christmas.”

Asked if he were concerned that could further extend the lame-duck session until after Christmas, DeMint said: “So we all want to go home and be with our families. If they want to do it, let’s stay here until New Year’s eve.”

Fuck you, DeMint. Fuck you and your anti-Christian Christianity. We’re sure Jesus wold have done the same thing, force everyone to stay in one place and not go home to worship in His name!

The Washington Post’s Ezra Klein posted a telling chart today that demonstrates the difference between the two plans. The brackets are virtually identical in each income bracket with people actually getting more money back under the Democrats’ plan – that is, until you reach the top earners. Check it out (after the jump).

That staggering difference aside, it looks like that’s what the Democrats are going to do. And why shouldn’t they? After all, 26 percent of Americans are in support of that course of action.