Also: Whoops.

[via TPM]

Meh, apparently it is, and now Kernell is probably headed to the slammer. Palin put the whole situation in perspective on facebook, of course.

My family and I are thankful that the jury thoroughly and carefully weighed the evidence and issued a just verdict. Besides the obvious invasion of privacy and security concerns surrounding this issue, many of us are concerned about the integrity of our country’s political elections. America’s elections depend upon fair competition. Violating the law, or simply invading someone’s privacy for political gain, has long been repugnant to Americans’ sense of fair play. As Watergate taught us, we rightfully reject illegally breaking into candidates’ private communications for political intrigue in an attempt to derail an election.

Right, because no one knew that breaking into candidates’ communications was bad before Nixon. That said, is it fair to compare some stupid kid guessing a retard’s password hint to a break-in of Democratic Party headquarters that the President of the United States knew about? Of course not. But hey, shock of shocks, Sarah Palin has no perspective on life or history.

Let us not forget that she also has no perspective on legality. While yes, it was bad of a 20-year-old college student to figure out her easily-figured-out password, one thing that shouldn’t be forgotten is that because of that intrusion, we learned that Palin was using her personal email to illegally conduct government business. From Harper’s:

The Justice Department seems to be setting one of its amazing new rules. When a Republican political figure is damaged in her expectation of being elected to office, it is telling us, that’s a felony. And why is that the case here? Because the hacker helped establish something important: Sarah Palin has been systematically violating the Open Records Act. As David Corn has noted at Mother Jones, Palin relied heavily on private email accounts for improper purposes. As governor of Alaska, she was obligated to maintain as public records her communications with respect to her discharge of official duties. Palin skirted this obligation by turning to private email accounts for government related dealings. In fact, the hacker in question helped flush out Palin’s violations. The hacker also helped establish a motive for the illegal conduct: Palin regularly involved her husband in official business, and it’s easy to understand why she did not want to leave behind evidence of her husband’s involvement.

We also learned from Watergate that when government officials do illegal things, they’re usually punished. Sarah Palin is a famous rich celebrity now, though, so perhaps the rules just don’t apply to her. We’re still hoping they do.

Perhaps President Obama should find a Supreme Court nominee who knows something about technology as DC Dicta points out how some of the current justices struggled with the subject during recent oral arguments.

“The first sign of trouble was about midway through the argument, when Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Jr. — who is known to write out his opinions in long hand with pen and paper instead of a computer — asked what the difference was ‘between email and a pager?’”

[Political Wire]

Sarah Palin gives a visual representation of her foreign policy experience.

Only in this country could a dipshit former half-term governor and hillbilly grifter with zero – that’s zero – foreign policy experience be taken seriously when it comes to United States nuclear prowess and its implied defense against foreign powers.

We all know that Sarah Palin, the aforementioned half-term governor and hillbilly grifter, has been sniping at President Obama about his agreement with Russia to reduce the number of nuclear weapons in the U.S. Here’s the latest from the Associated Press:

Obama shot back while overseas to sign a nuclear reduction deal with Russia, calling Palin “not much of an expert” on nuclear issues.

Palin counterpunched Friday while addressing the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans. Clearly mocking the president, she dismissed the “vast nuclear experience that he acquired as a community organizer.”

Right. She left out the important part, which is that the former community organizer is the current President of the United States. Trumps even being able to see Russia from your backyard, I plum reckon.

By the way, don’t these conservatives goofs know that their personal Jesus – Reagan, duh – was a big proponent of reducing the number of nuclear weapons? It doesn’t make a lot of sense to piss on the legacy of your hero for political gain. Of course, that’s never stopped her from being a total ass.

Click “our new name” and you’re taken to a new page in which you’re told the following:

Early last month the mayor of Topeka, Kansas stunned the world by announcing that his city was changing its name to Google. We’ve been wondering ever since how best to honor that moving gesture. Today we are pleased to announce that as of 1AM (Central Daylight Time) April 1st, Google has officially changed our name to Topeka.

We didn’t reach this decision lightly; after all, we had a fair amount of brand equity tied up in our old name. But the more we surfed around (the former) Topeka’s municipal website, the more kinship we felt with this fine city at the edge of the Great Plains.

In fact, Topeka Google Mayor Bill Bunten expressed it best: “Don’t be fooled. Even Google recognizes that all roads lead to Kansas, not just yellow brick ones.”

Ugh. That’s the best you can come up with, guys? Fire the people who thought that was a good idea. Unless it was you, Brin and Page. In which case, sell yourselves out of control of Google (unlikely).

Until last week, paleontologists could offer no clear-cut evidence for the color of dinosaurs. Then researchers provided evidence that a dinosaur called Sinosauropteryx had a white-and-ginger striped tail. And now a team of paleontologists has published a full-body portrait of another dinosaur, in striking plumage that would have delighted that great painter of birds John James Audubon.

“This is actual science, not ‘Avatar,’ ” said Richard O. Prum, an evolutionary biologist at Yale and co-author of the new study, published in Science.

Thanks, Dr. Prum, for that really insightful comment. Not only have you probably correctly judged that most Americans are dumb enough to associate science with Avaghey, but you’ve also proved you’re just cynical enough to add a buzzword into your quote so that maybe Google will point a few more readers to you.

And you, New York Times, are guilty of the same thing, and also of shitty news writing. Using a quote that has no place in the context of the rest of the story? And no explanation as to what the good doctor means? That maybe his stupid quote is a reference to the magical colorful fairyland of Pandora? Bleh.

Weak. Just plain weak. How about instead of cutting staff as necessary you cut everyone and start over? You’re really getting into LA Times territory here.

In a related story, our mothers are really upset with us for being “first.”

These reporters were not any part of what I was doing there as the VP candidate,” Palin said on Fox News Tuesday, her first appearance on the network as a paid contributor. “I don’t know who they are. I haven’t met these guys.”

You know, maybe they weren’t there, Ms. Palin. But I’m guessing David McCullough wasn’t there with Harry Truman when Truman ordered Nagasaki and Hiroshima get bombed to smithereens, and Truman is considered one of the finest books, um, ever.

See, that’s how fancy reportin’ works! Reporters try to get in touch with participants in the events about which they’re writing. If said people are not available, don’t return calls or are generally considered lying liars by the general public — stay with me — the reporters will try different authoritative sources.

And guess what! They talked to your pal Steve Schmidt who has no reason to lie (because the truth makes him look bad enough) and lots and lots of other people!

It’s a bunch of BS from [McCain campaign manager Steve] Schmidt and those guys,” Palin said. “It’s pretty made up.”

Yes, so made up that one of the other details of the book has resulted in apologies from Harry Reid, accepted apologies from Barack Obama and cries for resignation from the Republican Party.

Sarah Palin: Shut up.

Based on the relative banality of their metro coverage and the way they just can’t commit enough ink to ballet, is it any surprise that the Times‘ big insight into the awesome spectacle and box office performance of James Cameron’s Avaghey is the really boring question, “For All its Success, Will ‘Avatar’ Change the Industry“?

Correct question: Who gives a shit if Avaghey changes the industry? I know. You may be thinking that “Will Avatar Change the Industry” is a perfectly logical question for the Times to ask. But how many people have been thinking, “You know what I want to see? A really long action movie in 3D” Answer: James Cameron. I mean, just look at this nonsense:

Asked last week if any similarly ambitious film were in the works, Alec Shapiro, senior vice-president for sales and marketing of Sony Corporation’s content creation group, whose digital cameras were used on “Avatar,” was stumped. “Not to my knowledge,” he said. “I can’t, offhand, see another half-billion-dollar production.”

Wow. That’s some ace reporting, New York Times. Look at the following paragraph for more unintended yuks!

Mr. Cameron and his producing partner, Jon Landau, have talked of possible sequels to “Avatar.” But 20th Century Fox, which distributed the movie and helped underwrite production and marketing costs of about $460 million, has yet to announce plans for any successor to a film that was at least 15 years in the making.

Again: Wow. Imagine if Cameron wrote the script for an Avaghey sequel with a release date set for June 2013. If it took 15 years to craft the shitty dialogue of the first film, what sort of awesome chit-chat will the characters regale us with in the sequel?

Blue guy: “You can’t fire on them! There are women and children down there!”

Military white guy: “The Corporation signs my paychecks, not you! Shut up!”

Halfway through this woefully inept story do we get an answer to a question no one cares about in the first place.

“While ‘Avatar’ is likely a watershed for digital and 3-D technology,” [Barclays Capital] wrote, “it does not tell us that the underlying economics of the film business have changed.”

No shit.

That leaves a long stretch during which moviegoers, tantalized by “Avatar,” will be watching fantasy films like “Iron Man 2” from Marvel Entertainment and Paramount or “Jonah Hex” from Warner and Legendary Pictures, neither of which is as technologically ambitious as Mr. Cameron’s recent film.

OH MY GOD IS THIS ARTICLE STILL GOING ON?

Asked how quickly the next such movie might arrive, Mr. Landau said, “I hope sooner, rather than later, and not just from us.”

Asked how quickly this New York Times piece may end, Dave of SCFOM said, “Not soon the fuck enough.”